Who’s 'coming out' for a game of ball?

What seems to be the problem with gays in sport? Where are they? I know that they’re there as I myself am one! Well historically sport was constructed as a means for men to “be men” and a way that men could show off their masculinity. Also it was a chance for them to prepare for battle. Stereotypically speaking however this is not the image society would have of gay men. Sport emphasises the prime attributes of what a stereotypical straight man stands for and they both compliment each other greatly. The strength, the power, the control and ability to protect, all positive traits that put straight men on the highest pedestal in society as the protectors and as athletes. Has this ideology thinned out or changed in recent times and what is the general view on gays in the sporting world today? When the question ‘What is wrong about gay men playing sport?’ is put forward, what is it that is actually being asked.

In this article I aim to uncover and outline from personal experience why opinions differ on “coming out” in the sporting world. Why there are negative stigmas surrounding such a scenario and if the gay community are really taking the right route in solving the fact that there is very few out gay men in ‘the straight sporting world’.

As a gay lover of sport and in particular of football, my sexuality and fondness of “the beautiful game” including supporting Shamrock Rovers have played central roles throughout my life. They both still do, although, when brought together I sometimes feel a fear of being alienated by teammates and/or football peers. A fear of being “outed” some might say. This is a problem facing many young and old gay sporting personalities today and it has been for many years. I never formally came out to any of my teammates, managers, physiotherapists or anybody associated with that part of my life. I spend a large chunk of my active life living two lives but I remained the same person, an often-horrible scenario that many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people go through. During this time I have found ways of managing my sexual identity and of altering the performance of my sexual individuality whether it be training with my team where I would act out a typical straight masculine role or out with my close friends where I would be most comfortable to ‘act gayer’ so to speak. Why would I feel uncomfortable being myself in the sporting setting? Is it that gay men are not supposed to like or be interested in sport or is it the simple fact of a reluctance to accept difference within certain societal areas dominated by heterosexual males? Well in my experience most of the time it is neither. I remain, as I pointed out already, myself all the time, just in differing ways. We as people manage our identities depending on our surroundings at certain times. In fact we do it all the time. The main reason I don’t want to ‘come out’ to the people involved in the sporting side of my life is because I basically don’t feel the need to. I simply do not feel that the two are needed together for a successful sporting life to function. Of course I would like to have the knowledge of whether I would be accepted or not but while playing football sexuality is not spoken of. It may be joked about but never malicious. It is sport; it is football and that is all it is. No politics and no intellectual discussions around sexuality just a bonded group of friends playing to win and have fun. Often the most pressure on young gay sporting people is from the gay community to come out when in fact it is not necessary to do so in every walk of life.

Gareth Thomas, Wales’s first out gay international rugby player really highlights the fact that even though he is gay he does not want that to maim his reputation or anybody’s view of him as a rugby player. “I don’t want to be known as a gay rugby player. I am a rugby player, first and foremost I am a man”. The fact that Thomas has stood up proud and may well be accepted as a role model for young gay rugby players can be seen as the kind of action that is needed to be taken for gays to integrate into the sporting world. Although I believe there is no need to come out in the sporting world it is nice to see that some men want to and by doing so that they may help others that wish to do the same. They have a choice. Having the option is the single most important factor in gays integrating into the sporting world better. It is occasionally thrown around that the more famous you are the more you will be accepted by society regardless of your current or previous class, race, religion or sexual orientation. To be fair this statement is not far wrong. That is why I firmly believe that the more celebrity sporting heroes that come out the easier it will get for the ordinary lgbt to do likewise. The positive reaction towards Gareth Thomas and Donal óg Cusack, who, is our very first out inter-county hurler will hopefully create a knock on effect and more closeted people involved in sport that want to come out will have the great opportunity to go through with it. It is inspiring to see such supportive people around these great men who are paving the way for young gay sports stars just like those of the Stonewall riots did for the whole gay community in 1969 and they should be well respected and praised.

Some of Donal óg Cusack’s peers have been publicly positive about the news and that will in turn give young closeted people the boost they may need to feeling accepted and to coming out. “Of course he has my support”, “We’re all fully behind him, he’s a great man and has so much for all of us. This won’t change anything” and “He is one of the best genuine GAA men around and will be supported by Cork players and genuine GAA people 100%”. These are but just a few of the very supportive words uttered by straight men about their friend and peer. A noticeable theme behind all these statements seems to be one of ‘Moving On’ and ‘Acceptance’. With every good story comes some negative aspects also and I am sure Cusack’s is no exception. He has obviously gone through a tough stage in his life and not everybody will accept him but they cannot and will not stop him because of his sexuality.

Celebrations and change may well be still a very far away possibility but it seems that the first steps have been taken; the first sod broken and so far with little or no stumbles. Just because two or more men have been so widely accepted does not mean they are covering every sphere of the social world. If more people came out in sport would they be accepted? Chances are that they will but the global lgbt community have come up with a way of combating the violence and hatred that may still exist in the sporting world towards gays, a way of gays feeling natural in the world of sport. The Gay Games (formerly known as the Gay Olympics) and the Out Games are two of the many global events held every four years where people of the lgbt community may compete at a very high level. It is estimated that at each of these games there is up to 12000 participants with the hope of expansion. Are these games a great idea or are they an alternative to actually being accepted into the ‘real’ Olympics. Some would feel that it might be the latter after the International Olympic Committee sued the now Gay games for the use of the word ‘Olympics’. Could this be simple homophobia on the part of the Olympic committee? Why should the lgbt community always have to start their own movements to feel accepted anyway? Should there not just be an Olympics where all sexualities are accepted or is the lgbt community happier to express its own cultures and talents by hosting there own successful games. Maybe along with gay culture there must be a new form of gay sporting culture to run parallel to that of straight sporting culture. Could these gay sporting events actually be the catalyst in making the Olympics a more diverse 4-year event? We can hope I suppose!

The gay community are taking every step possible to diversify world sport. From local to global it seems that sport is piece-by-piece becoming gay-friendlyer. At a slow pace it may be but the fact that the community now have 2 mass global events and a European event on a regular basis is a huge leap and a great step in helping people come out and feel comfortable and natural playing amongst other lgbt or straight athletes. Coming out may not be the answer you are looking for. Maybe just let it be a question or maybe neither. It’s your choice but now may well be the easiest time for you to come out on the back of several well known sports stars. If you want that is.

Gays fight for rights, gays fight for the rights to love and the love of sport is no different to the love of mankind. So the more being gay becomes a ‘norm’ in sporting life the more young gays can feel ‘normal’ competing and more importantly the more people there is to ‘come out’ and play. Maybe I’ll be seeing you at the Gay Games in Cologne this summer.

My first attempt at writing a novel - "The Sea that stood there still"

Chapter 1: Hello!


Alex Mac an tSagart stood motionless gazing out over Howth harbour still pondering intently about the next few days that he had ahead of him. To him and many of his friends this would be the defining two weeks in their young lives, this was, as Alex had hoped the beginning of life, as he wanted it. It was just fourteen days until his long awaited Leaving Certificate results would be posted to his family home in Dundrum, an area on the south side of Dublin that Alex himself believed was full of want to-be snobs living amongst well-to-do white collar culchies. It wasn’t all that bad though, as Alex’s first and still best friend Eoghan, lived two blocks down on the picturesque street of Green-Gardens Avenue. Eoghan’s parents had given him permission to have a party on the night that the results came out and everybody in Alex’s old school had been invited. The 14th of August was to be a celebration of leaving school behind them and entering the free world as Eoghan had put it. On such a night a festival atmosphere involving cheap German beer, finger food and loud contemporary American pop would ensure that this group would wake up on the 15th with headaches that proved their ‘savage’ night would be the beginning of many more to come with life at University looming. Life though at University, could well mean the end to Alex and Eoghans close proximity friendship with Eoghan guaranteed a place in Oxford University through a scholarship and Alex still waiting to see if he too would be
accepted on the 14th of August. A date he was wholeheartedly dreading.


Alex still standing still watching as the boats would come and go through the entrance to the harbour thought of all the mistakes he might have made during his exams and
how the possibility of having to let Eoghan leave him behind was becoming ever more the reality. He sat down on a nearby bench crippled internally at the notion of having to say goodbye to his best friend for his whole College life. Alex’s group of friends would even often worry about the effect it would have on both Alex and Eoghan were one of them to move away. Alex took out his mobile phone, a new purple Blackberry that his grandmother had bought him after the Leaving Cert exams, and texted to his friend Naomi for her to ring him. It was just twenty seconds before Naomi’s call came through, she was good like that, always put her friends needs first.

“Hi Meems, what’s up? I’m just out in Howth. I had to visit my Gran like so I thought I’d go for a walk along the harbour. You fancy going for coffee or something?”

There was a short pause after Alex had spoken, which worried him because Naomi would usually answer immediately, if not speak over him about how she had so much to tell him or how Ryan, her boyfriend, had just done some sappy romantic thing that made her heart melt.

“Yeah sure” came the reply in her preppy tone a moment later.
“Okay I’ll meet you at Howth train station in like 5 minutes, if that’s O.K.?”
“Yeah sure I’ll drive down, seeya then Alex. Bye”
“Talk to you then Meems”

The conversation ended, although it was just a question of where will they meet up, Alex found it eerily strange that Naomi had not been her over enthusiastic self and that the conversation did not last more than a solitary minute. Could something be wrong he thought to himself?


Ten minutes after the call Alex was still standing waiting for Naomi to arrive at the train station. He wouldn’t normally worry about it, she could be held up in traffic or putting her make up on or something like that, but after such an odd phone call as the one earlier he couldn’t help but think that Naomi could perhaps be in danger or that something was really wrong. She just wasn’t acting herself at all. Maybe I should give her a call he thought. No credit in his own phone he opted to use the pay phone across the road. The phone rang out for longer than Alex wanted to imagine. He called her again, this time she answered but instantly hung back up again. Alex was really starting to think something was up and headed towards Naomi’s house, just a fifteen-minute walk from the train station. It would feel like an hour walk this time though.

Alex’s heart thumped ever more with his limbs skimming the pathways as if he were actually gliding. His pace quickened when Naomi’s house came into view. It stood there; it’s Georgian architecture so prominent amongst the leafless trees of the autumn. Alex, however, spotted something that really started to panic him more than ever before. Naomi’s front door was swung open and was being battered in and out with the soft breeze. Her big purple door stood out amid all the red and blue, ordinary coloured, bland houses but today it lay open its colour hidden from plain view. Such a frightening revelation pressed at Alex to run. He did not run however, he merely half-heartedly jogged as if he was afraid to witness his friend in distress sooner than he could help to.

He reached the three short steps to the garden and peered through the door, he couldn’t see anything. The walls were blackened as if they had been burned or painted a dark rustic colour. Naomi wouldn’t paint the house; she is too lazy he thought to himself. Then as he slowly stuttered towards the wide opened door, it slammed shut. Startled, Alex leapt back and retreated behind the huge oak that stood in the garden. His shirt now drenched in sweat. His heart was beating as if it were being pushed to its limit.

‘What do I do, this is not normal’ he murmured.

All the while, without his knowledge, a dark shadow paced the front hallway watching Alex as he lay against the great oak shivering without a clear thought in his mind. Alex had thought about calling the Gardaí but then on second thinking he assumed that maybe nothing was wrong and it was just the wind that made the door slam so harsh. He picked himself up and approached the door ready to thump the knocker against the purple wood of the ageing door.

One, Two, Three went the loud, eerie, long, consistent knocks and then an equally long, consistent, eerie silence followed before the door creaked open and Alex softly brushed it the rest of the way and entered in a cautious manner. The door once again slammed shut. The street went quiet, the houses stood quiet and Alex was made stay quiet after such a loud bang that was Naomi’s Georgian door being forced shut. A clenched fist now rested against the framework.

Beauty is hidden behind a haircut!!

The picture on the left shows how people are more beautiful with a simple 'let's push all my hair up and over here' look! Bangs are a thing of the past it seems. Look how his eye colour and bone structure is brought out with the shorter hair. Beautiful!! Foreheads are the new Lips :P

Morals?

It is considered a victorious adventure when one, through physical and mental observation can detect the road on which they have travelled. When each stage on a certain path in life can be mapped lucidly and when it is noticeable to the human mind that life has moved on. The fact that one has been stimulated from a certain stage of life to what is deemed a higher position of moral strength is alone the splendour of our motivation towards a destiny. A metaphorical podium is erected after a decisive journey is made. A mission accomplished. A goal fulfilled. These prestigious periods in life, these remembered events and celebrated objectives are known and held in high regard as the rewards behind mankind’s motivation for a better existence, for peace and for civil eternity. As the human race we believe we know how to differentiate good from bad, right from wrong, and left from right. But how do we know that our theories are correct? Do we wholeheartedly agree with our morals? Has right and wrong been exposed or has it been defined by one social class, the class with power. Have we questioned right or wrong or have we just approved. Have we been led like sheep to believe that one countries vested interest in another’s land is different to one groups’ passion and pride in serving and expressing their beliefs? Do we judge and make accusations or do we go through a means of moral questioning first? Do we stop to think about the balance, the similarities and that maybe both sides subsist to be on the wrong side of immoral humanity? It is with great pleasure that I draw on one of the world finest poets to ever live, Alexander Pope to illustrate this argument. Pope states that: “The way of the Creative works through change and transformation, so that each thing receives its true nature and destiny and comes into permanent accord with the Great Harmony: this is what furthers and what perseveres”. Each mapped location one step closer to a destiny in which man is inspired to achieve. Every problem encountered an obstacle used to educate. Each and every desire we encounter is focused on a better life, be that the greed of one man or a shared belief of mankind that all should be municipally held and enjoyed. In solidarity we must learn to question our morals and our beliefs, we must aspire to find a better solution to life’s everlasting struggle and we must together educate that Love and Peace have greater strength and power than that of War and Hate. If a path in life can be mapped then surely it can be influenced, changed, hindered and altered. There is always chance to choose and choice of chance. As mankind we can stand against the evil of war. We can educate the majority inspired by wealth and greed that violence is not in anyway a tried and tested means of finding or creating peace.